July 2011, Jeff & I had completed all the requirements and were officially approved to adopt. Five months later, on the Monday after Thanksgiving, we were told that Harrison's birth mother had picked us to parent her baby that was due the next week. Two days later we drove to Pennsylvania and met Harrison's birth mom. I loved her instantly.
When Harrison was born the next week, two major shifts happened in how I thought about adoption. 1. I knew that I wanted Harrison's biological family in his life and 2. that our happiest moment was born of pain, loss and grief. Fast forward thirteen years and I still feel this way. I've heard countless ignorant comments when people find out my children are adopted. One of them being "I could never give up my baby." My immediate response is "You don't know what you can do until you're in that situation." (What I'm really thinking is that when you say things like that it really sounds like you're saying that you can't put the needs of your child above your own.) Then I try to educate that person on adoption language like that birth parents aren't "giving up" a child, rather making a plan and "placing" their child in another family. All of the kids' birth families wanted open adoptions. What does that mean? It looks different for every family member. I think it means that we all have open hearts and open minds when it comes to our family dynamic. Jeff & I are open to doing whatever we can raise healthy and happy kids. We firmly believe that including their birth families in our lives is one of the ways to do that. Their story is not shameful. It's part of who they are. Everyone deserves to know where they come from. We are so grateful that our children know that. The love that we all feel as our family just gets bigger and bigger is incredible and more than I ever could have imagined thirteen years ago. Adoption can be both beautiful and sad at the same time. It's complicated, but what family relationship isn't? November is a special month. Not only is it National Adoption Month, it's the month when Leo's adoption was finalized, Harrison's birth mother's birthday, Thanksgiving and when we found out we would finally be parents.
One of the things we did this month was to visit our adoption agency,
Adoptions From The Heart. They recently moved offices. I thought it would be nice if we brought them a plant for their new office and said hello. Only one of the original social workers from the beginning is still there. Of course she was blown away with how big the kids are and thrilled to hear about all their visits with their birth families. We also met up with a friend who has always loved the kids. A few years ago, she told me that she is a birth mother and had reunited with her child after more than forty years. Thankfully, the kids don't have to wait years and years to find out who they look like, where they get certain characteristics from or to get answers to their questions.
In the background of this picture are Christmas decorations that the city was putting up. We were in front of the giant letters HOPE. There is so much hope in adoption and hope is a beautiful thing.
